Lauren Goodger reveals terrifying struggle - 'I don't want to feel this pain'

Reality star Lauren Goodger is fighting to get her mental health back on an even keel after suffering a bout of severe anxiety while on holiday.

The OG TOWIE star, who was enjoying a sunshine break with her four-year-old daughter, Larose, was forced to return to the UK prematurely after what she described as a series of “terrifying” attacks.

Taking to Instagram, she apologised for her absence from social media, explaining, “Sorry I’ve been MIA. My holiday was cut short due to severe anxiety – it was overwhelming.”

Lauren, who turns 39 this week, is now said to be doing everything she possibly can to get herself back on course, as OK! reports – above all for little Larose. “Hiding it all from my daughter was draining,” Lauren admitted, once back on UK soil.

“But I’m proud I pushed through, even when it got tough. Now that I’m home, I’ve got a lot of work to do on myself. Those two days of anxiety attacks were terrifying.”

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The star said she is now focusing on “self-care and healing” as she tries to find balance again. A source close to Lauren told new,

“Lauren has been struggling with anxiety for years and it’s a real battle for her. She doesn’t like to talk about it too often because she doesn’t like people worrying about her. She would hate for her daughter to see her upset so unfortunately she finds herself hiding, which she knows isn’t good for either of them.”

They added, “Lauren really wants to focus on self-care and how to manage her anxiety, she doesn’t want to feel like this any more. She’s had a really tough few years and is a kind, sensitive soul – everything hits her and sometimes she just can’t cope. Now is the time for her to really focus on herself and get out of this rut. She’s hoping it’s going to be the start of feeling good.”

Despite her joy at returning to TOWIE last year, Lauren has faced a hugely challenging few years. In July 2024, she revealed she was still suffering from PTSD following the heartbreaking loss of her daughter Lorena two years earlier.

The newborn tragically passed away shortly after her birth after her umbilical cord became wrapped around her neck – something Lauren has described as “the most traumatic experience of my life”.

Speaking about the long-term toll Lorena’s death took on her mental health, the star said, “I’ve 100% got PTSD bad and it will be with me for a long time. I’ve never suffered with depression, but I have therapy for health anxiety. I worry the worst is going to happen because I’ve already experienced a loss.”

Her agony was further compounded after Lorena and Larose’s father, Charles Drury, was arrested after reportedly attacking her on the day of Lorena’s funeral. But the charges were dropped in February 2024 after Lauren withdrew her support for the case. Over the past 12 months, Lauren is said to have grown closer to her ex, who recently revealed he has moved to Essex to be nearer their daughter.

“I recently relocated from living three hours away from my daughter (I still saw her a lot) to now living 10 minutes away,” he posted last month. “As much as I miss my family I did what was right for not just my little girl but me too.”

The update came just weeks after he accompanied Lauren and Larose on another getaway – taken to be a sign that the pair have rekindled their romance. In the days following her recent holiday crisis, Lauren appeared to be putting herself first, treating herself to some much-needed pampering as she worked to boost her mental health.

“Blow-dry always helps the soul,” she captioned a snapof herself looking glam in Loughton’s Elem hair salon. She later treated Larose to a wash, cut and blow-dry at children’s hairdressers Little Fidgets.

Lauren first joined TOWIE in 2010, while engaged to TV and radio host Mark Wright. She returned as a permanent cast member in 2024 and earlier this year announced that she would be heading to Portugal with her co-stars, adding that it would be her first trip abroad in five years.

She described the jaunt as “a huge deal”, adding, “I’ve not been away on holiday abroad in five years, due to my severe trauma and anxiety. However, the TOWIE bosses are who I feel most comfortable with to be going abroad to help with this.”

Let’s hope that the future for Lauren involves plenty of peace, happiness and serenity – and a little more of putting herself first…

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